Assault Lawyers and other dangers of the internetz

I have received a wide array of interesting emails this week, much more than usual. My name must have found its way to someone's sucker list. Most are the standard fare - There is a lawyer on a "quest to find a reliable trustee to manage the assets/estate of my late client valued at only US$11,000,000.00 (Eleven Million United States Dollars)" Guess what? I'm that lucky fellow.

Then there was Mr. Dom May, he is a "Diplomat" and is "mandated to deliver your inheritance to you in your country of residence. The funds total US$7.5 Million and you were made the beneficiary of these funds by a benefactor whose details will be revealed to you after handing over the funds to you in accordance with the Agreement I signed with the benefactor when he enlisted my assistance in delivering the funds to you." If you say so...

But the best was an exciting job offer from Alex Dascomb in California, it reads...

"Dear,

I am Alex ....a man of 40 years of age...I'm an Assault Lawyer ...i am looking for an honest person who can work for me... hopefully be my Personal Assistant...so the motive of your job with me is to be collecting funds from my client on my behalf, I wish i could do this alone but due to the nature of my work. I do travel a lot ...i even travel out of the state too if required... also i will like to let you know that i am from Hawthorne, California ...but your location never determine your work with me...all you need to do is to be online almost everyday so that i will be updating you on what to do. Like i said before you will be collect funds from my client on my behalf in case i am out of state and also the payment will be via Pay pal or Checks ... so i will like to know which one you will prefer out of this....all you need to do is to be online to reply mails and also if you have a yahoo email address so that we can chat sometimes on yahoo messenger....and your wages will be 10% on each transaction and also i want you to send me your resumes and i will like you to mail me with the following information below soon....so i will wait to read from you soon if you are really interested to work for me.

Best Regards Alex..."

I'm not really sure what an "Assault Lawyer" is but I've got a feeling that if we sunk them all in the deepest part of the ocean, along with all the scumbag internet criminals with them, that the internet (and our world) would be a much, much better place.