Goodbye Ol' Remus

I discovered Ol' Remus in 2008 and checked in for his unique and fascinating weekly outlook on life, past and present, ever since. Thank you sir for the time and effort you put in to entertain us, and maybe even get us to think some too. You will be missed.

Tour of duty

I just finished another stint of jury duty. Supposedly the entire selection process is completely random, but when your name comes up three times in ten years you have to wonder, especially when many of your fellow jurors had similar stories. I know people that have lived here their whole lives without ever being called. The only good news is that here in my county jury duty is two weeks while in most of Kentucky it is a month. In one county I believe it's actually six months. Well, I can stop worrying about it for a while, by law they can't hook me again for at least two years.

Help a guy out

A fellow blogger is having some tough times. Go on over and read about it, and if you can send him some help. Only takes a minute or two of your time.

Lesson from the bird guy

During my brief time as an unarmed security officer I met quite a few interesting characters. The one I remember most I called "the bird guy."

One of my semi regular posts was at a local galleria type mall down town and I would usually pull a shift there two or maybe three times a month. Typically as a last minute replacement if one of the regular guys called in sick or needed a vacation day. At the time the mall was undergoing a heavy remodeling and not open to the public. Our main job was to keep people out of the construction areas and that mostly meant the local homeless population that would frequently try to set up house in some faraway nook out of public view. They especially liked the two lower sublevels for some reason. Probably because there was no power there at the time and they could easily find some dark corner to hide in.

Adjacent to the mall was a Catholic church. Midday, every weekday, they would give out food to indigents, usually sandwiches of some kind. The bird guy was always there.

The bird guy was in his early thirties, average height and a little thin. He had blonde hair that he kept cut short and neat. His clothes were casual, a knit shirt and khaki pants. They looked like they hadn't been laundered for a while but he still made an effort to look presentable. Kept his shirt buttoned up and tucked in. They might have been the best clothes he had, maybe the only ones. He always had with him a small backpack too and I suspect that it carried everything he owned.

The bird guy might have been mentally ill or disabled. I never once heard him speak to anyone and he often appeared to be in his own little world. Like everyone else he would wait in the long line for his sandwich. But it was after that you could see he wasn't like any of the others that were standing there.

The rest would take their food and go. They might hang out with friends for a short while but not very long. They got their free lunch and then quickly went their separate ways again. The bird guy had other priorities. Between the mall and church was an area that somehow had managed not to get paved over. A long narrow strip of grass and a few trees, not that common in that part of town.

The bird guy would go sit down, usually right on the ground. He would then open his sandwich and eat the insides. Afterwards he would carefully shred the bread into very tiny pieces that he would toss out in front of him. Then he would wait. It wouldn't be long before the birds would show up, all sizes and kinds. They would eat the crumbs only inches from him. More than once I saw him feeding them right out of his hands.

That was the real reason the bird guy came and you could see it there in his smile and in his eyes. No matter what other problems he had for a short while everyday at lunchtime they were forgotten.

That's the lesson that I learned from the bird guy and I try to remember it every day.

You should take your happiness wherever you can find it.

The King is dead!

I'm talking about that plastic face goon that has been haunting television sets (and my nightmares) for several years now. Burger King has finally decided to give their creepy laminated spokesman the pink slip. About time. I don't know what marketing genius came up with the idea to begin with, whoever he was he should be flipping burgers now instead of selling them. I rarely eat at BK and their mascot with his lifeless eyes and unnerving smile sure didn't inspire me to go more often. Mostly he just freaked me out. Spent most his time just silently skulking about, frightening adults and especially kids. So long, scary disturbing whopper man!

Women got no sense of humor

On the way home earlier today I stopped at an intersection. As I was waiting a guy pulls up next to me at the light in a like new looking Hummer H2. He's talking on his cell phone AND driving. He just looks like a jerk and the jerk waves are radiating off of him like the blazing summer sun is glaring off my hood. I look down and my suspicion is confirmed, across the entire driver side in black spray paint it read "CHEATER." I hope she was worth it fella.

New look

To commemorate the oppressive heat wave that has currently swallowed up most of the nation (including me), I've decided to change my banner. This is the new summer of 2011 limited edition wilsonblog banner. Hope you like it.

Do the guy a favor

Larry Correia, author of Monster Hunter International (and a whole bunch of other great stuff!) is asking a favor, and after all the entertainment his books and blog have given us I would say he's earned it! One week from today his newest, Monster Hunter Alpha will be released and Larry really wants to be on the top sellers list. To do that he has to sell a boatload of copies the week it's released (7/26). So go out and buy (or order) a copy, you'll be doing this great author a favor and yourself one too!

Idiots and their guns

Some people idiots shouldn't be allowed to own guns, this guy is one of them. Right now this is a big local story, you can read more here. Let me give a short summary for you - 56-year-old man was having a problem with kids in the neighborhood (ringing doorbells, banging on windows, etc.). One night while "scared and confused" he shoots a 12-year-old boy in the back with a shotgun, and all over a child's prank.

This sad story all began with some boys getting together, and as unsupervised boys are bound to do they found some trouble to get into. They decided it would be fun to ring some doorbells and run. Kids have played "Ring and Run" a lot longer than I've been alive, I have done it myself although it's been a few decades. I'm not going to defend these boys. They were old enough to know better and the phrase "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" came to my mind when I initially heard about this. But although it's true that they shouldn't have been on this man's property in the first place I'm also thinking that having two collapsed lungs and a 100 shotgun pellets dug out of you might be excessive punishment for an infantile trick.

The authorities say it was a crime; the shooter says it was an accident. I say at best it was 100% pure essence of stupidity. For this post I'm not going to worry about the disputed facts in this case, the whole truth will come out soon enough. Today I'm solely commenting on the statements this man has already made. He has managed to make it 56 years without having any major run in with the law so I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is telling the truth, for now.

He said - That he thought there were burglars outside his home and only wanted to scare them. I say - Idiot, you don't point a gun to "scare" people, to intimidate trouble away. If you are aiming a gun at someone you better be completely convinced that they are about to take your (or some innocent persons) life, which with rare exception is the only valid reason in a justified civilian shooting. If you want to "teach" someone become a schoolteacher.

He said - "I had no idea who it was or how old they were" I say - Listen up moron this is important, I doubt you have ever heard any of this before so I'll tell you now. There are 4 crucially important rules for gun owners, learn them all. The one most applicable here, Know your target and what is beyond. You were prepared to shoot and kill someone and had absolutely no idea who they were and you didn't know that other kids were nearby either. This was a wide-open invitation for tragedy and it was only your stupid luck, and the grace of God, that this didn't end with some child dead.

He said - "The gun went off… but it was an accident" and he was "shocked and upset at myself for leaving a shell" (in the gun). I say - Einstein, this is no "accident," you had a loaded gun, you had your finger on the trigger. That's not an accident, just you being stupid. Starting to see a trend here? Did you even look at that link in the previous paragraph? And speaking of stupid, how much is required to confront a burglar with what you thought to be an unloaded gun?

If this man somehow manages to dodge a conviction and keep himself out of jail I hope he never owns another gun. Sell them, give them to the police, have them cut in half with a torch, have someone crush them. Just don't own another. People like this make it hard for the rest of us gun owners that take the enormous responsibility of firearms ownership and self-defense seriously. Guys like this are the ones gun haters think of as they try to destroy all of our rights, they think we're all like this. Every easily avoidable incident like this one only solidifies their misguided beliefs that no one but police and military are "smart" or "good" enough to have weapons. Having guys like this on "our" side only makes the fight for our freedoms a hundred times harder. They are the worst enemies that the average concerned, thinking gun owner has.

Happy 4th!

A happy 4th of July to all my fellow Americans! Have a great holiday, I know I will!

Funny how the mind works

Was driving in rush hour traffic early this AM and listening to the oldies channel when Stuck in the Middle with You started playing. I grew up in the 1970s and must have heard that song at least 10,000 (mild exaggeration) times as a kid. I like the tune and if anything you would think it might bring back fond memories from my childhood. But thanks to one particular movie all that comes to mind when I hear it now is some poor cop getting his ear cut off by a maniac.

To all the Dads out there...

A happy Father's Day to all of you Dads out there. It's a tough job but someone has to do it. And a big happy Father's Day to my own Dad. I love you Dad!

If at first you don't succeed...

That guy that got a lot of people worked up saying that the Rapture was happening last Saturday has revised his prediction. Noting that he is still here he rechecked and found his math in error. New departure date, October 21st of this year. Keep trying fella, sooner or later you'll have to hit it.

I carried a badge

A recent post by Guffaw about working as a security guard brought back the memories of my own brief stint as a pseudo law enforcement officer and working the mean streets of the city, well actually, mostly mean vestibules. Starting in '04 I spent over two years working as unarmed security for a local company. At the time I needed extra income to pay off some bills and this was the best job I could find that would work with my schedule.

I did mention it was unarmed security? The company told us that fact four or five times during our initial three-hour orientation. It must have been a big problem with new employees as it was mentioned repeatedly. They also told us as many times that being caught with a gun while working for them was grounds for immediate termination, whether you had a deadly weapons license or not. Know what else would get you fired right quick? Doing anything but observing. You see all of us fledgling "Security Officers" soon discovered that the only thing we were there for was to be a "visual deterrence" for criminals (mostly shoplifters) and to be a good witness if possible. What we were not supposed to do was jeopardize our safety or the company's profits while on their payroll. And they meant it, not even two weeks after we finished "training" one of the guys I started with helped some employees at a store he was working at, he "helped" them by tackling a shoplifter running out the door. Yep, you guessed it, fired on the spot. Poor sap must have thought he was a cop or something. He was mistaken. They tried to tell him numerous times during that extensive half-day training session before we were "signed off" and let loose on the world, guess he wasn't listening. They weren't paying us to "do something," basically we were being paid to stand around and look official and (in theory) we would scare away anyone that meant trouble for our customers. The scarecrow security theory. My first supervisor on the job put it succinctly, he told me to just "stand there and look serious, but friendly."

Being the new guy I got all those exciting jobs that the other employees didn't want. The boring jobs, the uncomfortable jobs, and of course the dangerous jobs. Because of my regular work I didn't have much time available on the weekdays but did on the weekends and I got to work a lot of them. It wasn't unusual for me to have 24-30 hours in before the regular work week arrived Monday morning. The company had a big contract with a local grocery chain and our mission was to stand there in the front vestibule of their store and frighten criminals. I got a lot of those jobs as many of my co-workers refused to do it, or at least found a reason to get out of it. You don't know what fun is until you've stood in the lobby of a grocery store going insane from the tedium, doing your twelve hour shift (usually midnight to noon) with only a very short restroom break every few hours. Good times!

But it wasn't all standing around with your feet killing you for boring hour after hour without end, there was other fun to be had. They also sent me more than a few times to a local downtown hotel notorious for a murder a couple years before, a drug deal had went bad in their secluded back parking lot. My assignment, if I accepted it, was to make a continuous loop, patrolling each floor of the hotel from top to bottom on the hour, including the aforementioned murder site. It was the graveyard shift (12A - 8A) and while it was lonely I wasn't completely alone. As I said the place was infamous for a relatively recent and well known murder and a known drug area. The local police made it a part of their regular beat and I would see them maybe three or four times during the long night. Otherwise I was on my own. The only good thing I can say about the duty was that it wasn't boring as standing looking out the front window of a grocery store for 6 to 12 hours at a time.

Those were the two main duties I had that first year but there were other memorable ones too. Once in a while I worked at a shopping complex in the city center and adjacent to it was a large Catholic Church. Every weekday at noon they would give out food to the needy. Let me tell you that was some fun trying to keep a 100 or more homeless (mostly men), many undoubtedly mentally ill, on the church property and from overrunning and damaging your client's. Your only weapons a harsh look and the threat of calling the real police. Good times!

Then occasionally, maybe once or twice a month, I would get assigned a "gravy" job, typically when someone called in sick or was on vacation. I suppose they were grateful that I took so many unpopular assignments that they would throw me a bone on occasion. It was during these times I would get my own patrol car, ours were little white Ford Focus sedans with a spiffy stripe down the side that read "******* Security" and had a light bar on top. I would usually get the night shift (or course) and would drive around in the nearly empty parking lot, listening to overnight A.M. talk radio while I protected the grocery or department store from evildoers! Good times! Really!

I was popular with my immediate supervisor because I was one of the few guys he had that would take anything offered. I did the dirty jobs many of his other employees wouldn't. Plenty of long shifts and boring posts. I didn't want to either but I had to, I needed the money. I did the work and didn't complain and I'm sure that's what he appreciated the most. In that first year the only job I ever turned down was working the front door at an abortion clinic, that's just something I could not do.

After about 15 months of that kind of "fun" I asked them to cut back my hours. I had paid off some bills by then, I still needed some extra money but I rapidly tired of working seven days a week. Because I had done a good work for them (and without complaints) I must say they made an effort to find me a regular post, something better than what I had been doing. They finally did find something, a nice Saturday only job at a local factory. I would go in the morning at seven and would stay until they were finished, usually three or four that afternoon. I had my own little office, heated and central air. My only duty to sit there at my desk and let people in or out. The rest of the time I could read or listen to the radio, but quietly, and absolutely no TV! Mainly I just tried to stay awake. Infrequently I would still find myself with the odd "interesting" assignment when they really needed me to. Finally I must say I bored of the exciting life of an unarmed security officer and found myself a somewhat better second job, at least it paid more.

Did I ever carry a gun in my "unarmed" security job? Sure did, plenty of times my Smith & Wesson 649 was right there with me. Usually in a holster around my ankle or occasionally in a "tuckable" holster inside my waistband. It was legal for me to carry and any time it seemed prudent to have a gun I did, like the murder hotel for instance. I was willfully violating company policy and knew I would be fired then and there if caught, but it was my life on the line so I decided to take that chance. The company knew to, at least I believe my "field" supervisor did. There were a couple of times he seemed to notice me "printing" but never said a word. They probably sent him on some dangerous jobs too when he first started.

For Mom

A happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers out there! Sorry dads, you have to wait another month.

Bacon Utopia

With THIS it is now finally possible for all ages to enjoy the goodness of bacon, whether they can chew or not.... We have truly reached the Bacon Renaissance.

It's April Fool's day - and we're the fools!

Just those of us that buy or eat food. I've been meaning to post on THIS subject for a while now but kept forgetting, Jason reminded me. As I've said, been noticing this for some time now, especially in the last six months or so. Bags of chips only half full (the rest air), canned goods slowly shrinking on the grocery shelves and my favorite example crackers. All of my life saltine crackers have been exactly the same, crisp bleached starch salty SQUAREs. A few weeks ago I bought a box (store brand) that were rectangular. The packaging was exactly the same but to save money now a quarter inch on one of the sides was missing. You have to constantly watch them, they are sneaky!

Funny cause it's true

I stole this from KurtP, he got it from HERE.

I wake up screaming...

Saw THIS over at Jay G's (he got it from The Feral Irishman)

This is why I refuse to go fishing, not without my M1 Garand, a spare oxygen tank and fire, plenty of fire. I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight, thanks guys!

England, Britain or United Kingdom?

By George, I've got it! (Finally)